"is today monday"
"no its tuesday"
"sure feels like a wednesday"
"slippery when wet"
"come to think of it.. he isnt that bad"
"kayla! he's married and has 2 kids"
.... :|
"we've been friends ever since we were in the hospital"
"umm kaylea.. i wasnt waiting in the hospital 4 months for you to be born"
"do you park your car in your neighbors driveway?"
"noo.... *sarcasm*"
"that was grade 7, we were immature then"
"uhh guys it was grade 8"
"well.. we're mature now" *random noises with our mouths* :o|
"whole wheat? what are you .. 60"
"im ron riddalin"
"i dont need beauty sleep"
"yea thats right.. you need a facelift"
"okay can you just tell him kayla called"
"tara?"
"kayla!"
"tara?"
"KAYLA!"
"tara?"
"....yes"
"guys stop jumping.. your knocking the dust off the light onto the table"
"taders"
"my blurrys getting vision"
"lets go shopping"
"he didnt make it into community college"
"uhh... isnt that impossible"
"im just being kidding"
-trying to blow on his stomach-
"let me blow you!"
....his mom walks by
"uhh whats going on in here"
"wooahh this is a loose one"
"ive heard that before"
"ittt woonnttt sttooopp"
"omg..ive been playing this game for hours and ive got such a good score"
"kayla..if you had friends youd be talking to them instead"
".....:|"
"did you eat your period"
"....uhh what"
"whoopps.. tampax commerical was on.. what were we talking about"
"hi is kayla here"
"whos kayla"
"uhh dad..im right here"
"ohh yea.. go eat your pizza"
"ddddaad..its kraft dinner"
"hahha.. you cold hearted bitch"
"im gonna come down and ride ya and leave aiiight"
"oh yea.. yea.. gay boy"
"wwwoah.. mustve took you all night to get that one"
*looking through the vent upstairs*
"omg.. we have progress..hand went from ankle to knee cap"
"do you know what this is"
"uhhh steak"
"no...deer steak"
"a small fries"
"kayla.. its 12am.. do you know where your pants are"
"i wanna ride ya for like.. 9 weeks"
"im not a fucking carosel"
"erma & mildred"
"haila & hailey"
"its like a build up of gas waiting for 15 years"
"pause it"
"pause what?"
"THE CAR"
....kaylas attempt to driving..
"secret handshake ;)"
....hand movements.
"and this one nestled on the ass cheek"
"oobie doobe woobie subby wubby mubby... MUTHA FUCKA"
"STACYS MOM"
"kayla.. no really.. youd be disappointed"
"its alright..i got with ugly guys too"
"no... thats not it"
"i dont have to worry about suits when i go out.. i only have one"
"mustard gas"
"hey..lets take out her legs.."
...while an old lady with a walking stick walks by..
"i got some of you in me...eeeeeeww"
"zzaaaapppppp"
"ding ding ding.. we have a winner"
"kaylea just do it.. we gotta get to bridgewater and back"
"but i dont wan....."
"DO IT"
"more with the conscincness..less with the drunkeness"
"we used to hump cannons.. and piggy banks"
"is that a turn on"
"is it supposed to be?"
"thanks gail...that was a good supper"
-after a month of calling her gail-
"kayla.. my moms names cathy"
"ryan who are you on the phone with"
"guess"
"that girl from lunenburg.. jennifer"
"yeessssss..."
"i love porn"
"mom i need toilet paper theres none left"
"just use the ones from the garbage can like i do"
-unknown
-pulls little knife out-
"give me all your money"
"hhhiiiii kyyylllee"
"kayla how do you ask someone out in french?"
"sortiez vous avec moi"
"oui"
"ill kill ya...i will"
"okay we should be passing fancy lake anytime soon"
"uhh we're in port east medway"
".....shit :|"
"i give good head"
"uhh...where did that come from"
"hey guys! i saw my babys daddy yesterday"
"uhh... :|"
"....the movie"
"january fools"
"ugh i hate january fools.. whats tomorrow"
"uhh ..its still january"
"dad..why are you talking to the cat"
"shes the only one that listens to me"
"uhh.. what did you say i wasnt listening"
"is moby dick really a whale?"
...after falling head first into my moms shelf..
"oh my fuck kayla is everything okay"
"yes mom..i just got a little bruise"
"no stupid.. did you break anything"
"ive got my daughter kisses other girls.. my son with his arm around other guys.. what have i raised"
"dddddaaaaaaddddd"
"dad.. ive been waiting to tell you this forever.. --drops pants--.. im really a tran"
..bangs his head on the glass doors..
"well THAT was embarassing"
"ugh.. barf.. i hate cream cheese"
..an hour later
"brandon.. why are you eating that"
"mm..i love cream cheese"
"my spoon is too big"
"i am a baNANA"
"kaylea..i dont know if i could get with him again"
"KAYLA! you made me get with "unknown".. you owe me"
"yeea.. thats true"
"well..id rather my daughter be a lez rather than be pregnant"
"well kaylea you better break the news now"
"..:|"
"no no.. that.. shes.. pregnant...:|"
"hey let me wear the fake mustache"
"... you dont need to"
editors note - she wants me to tell you that it WAS funny when she said it....
"yayy.. life is good"
"my anus is bleeding"
"oh is this the movie where the guy dies on the soccer feild after getting his girlfriend pregnant?"
"ugh guys.. you just ruined the movie for us"
